I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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