At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
