Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
