Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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