who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
