So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
