You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dignity is for republicans.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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