I can't watch pbs sober anymore
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
