hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
