He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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