Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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