I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The air taste purple.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
