Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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