porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
