My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I did not marry a roomba.
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