garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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