It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
