pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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