I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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