Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Duck Duck Cougar?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
