two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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