HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
