So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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