I want to stick my p in your. b.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
