Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
