I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
