I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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