His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
