I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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