the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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