And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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