I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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