Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize