No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
