You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
