I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
