I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
