just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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