It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
