A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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