God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
