I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
