Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
