And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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