in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize