HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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