eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
