dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
