they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
