That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
