You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i dont even know how to be here
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
