Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
