It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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