Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
