Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
