i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
