Already got asked if we're dating
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
