can we get nightvision for the apartment?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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