ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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