On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
